Saturday, April 3, 2010

Freedom..

Yaaaaaaaayyyyyyyyyyy!!!!!!!!!! Can you smell that? Dosn't it smell just beautiful? You know what it smells like?..FREEEDDOOOMM!!!! hehe. yup i'm here to celebrate the "so-called freedom". yea well it's not much of a freedom if i give my last exam today(yes, they made me come on a bloody saturday!) and have to go for regular classes tomorrow. AND it dosn't that i have classes from 8:30- 4 o'clock tomorrow either. BUUUTT i do have organic lab tomorw which is always a high light of my sunday. wanna know why? because the professor just walks into the lab, tells us what to do, what good it's gonna do for us(oh and btw he sound's exactly like a woman so u can imagine thin, little, lazy18 sitting in the corner laughing at his oh-so-woman like voice in the corner.AND the arabic accent does not help me shut up from giggling either. I really do have a feeling he know's i sit behind him and laugh. BUT he's never stopped me so i'm guessing he's partially deaf as well.

The other day we made methyl orange in the organic lab. yes, i am so smart i didn't know we had to actually make it. Always figured it was just there!..yea..stupid eh? It was actually pretty sweet because we got to use this magnet stirrer machine thingy. It's like u take ur beaker and just throw in this cylinderical shaped magnet inside it. Add whatever u want to add and put in the liquid. Then u set it on the machine. It's like this slate that when turned on heat's the mixture and has a magnet under it as well. So the magnet in the slate moves which makes the magnet in the beaker move and VOILA! u have automatic mixing of the mixture. was actually pretty cool. u get to mix it super fast and super slow. u can imagine me sitting there next to the machine. as soon as the professor left the lab, i was sitting and playing with the little switch. Of course the great person that i am, i made it go super fast which made the mixture come flying out. :P it was really awesome at the time, apart from the fact that it totally messed up my lab coat and my lab partner really wasn't happy that i had wasted 10 mintues of heating all over my clothes.lol..but it was fun.(fyi, i made it up to her and started the experiment from the begenning for her. yea, well i'm not all THAT mean!)

anyway..so i havn't written random in such a long time and this felt good. lol..will be back with more adventures from a chapter of "Lab's in distress" by lazy18! .lol. have a fun day y'all. :)

Thursday, April 1, 2010

Not nearly enough time..2

I woke up with feet shoving me on every side. "Why was everyone kicking me?!" and i opened my eyes. Hell had broken loose. Kids were screaming and crying, women were running every where. father's where trying to grab their families and run for it. Still groggy, i called out for the one person that had disappeared into thin air. "Shaaaaawnnn!" i screamed out. of course with all the havoc that was spreading around me, there was no way on earth that he would hear me. It was like trying to find your contact lenses in a HUGE pile of sand. Still dizzy from the explosion, i wasn't even sure what had hit me..everything was till moving around me. I dragged myself off the floor and tried to walk but this writhering pain shot through my left leg and made me crumble to the floor. Fighting back the shreiks that were bubbling to escape my lips, i looked at my leg and quite clearly it was bleeding. Pulling my pants up to my knee, i pulled out a huge peice of glass that had flown out at me and cut my leg. The pain seemed to side step as i remembered Shawn was still missing.

Feeling the blood drain out of me, i started walking around dodging people and ignoring the slowly increasing pain in my leg. I had to find him. He was my brother. If it was the last thing i did. I owed him that much. For everything he had done for me and for everything i HADN'T.

(on the other side of the feild)

Clearly walking away from John had NOT been a wise decision. But all i had wanted to see was the large man on the stilts that was doing a marvelous job juggling sticks. It was all so colourful and bright......"AAArrgh!" something had just walked over me and it HURT! I was forced to open my eyes then. I could see figures running by me through a little hole. Wait. there was something over me, something weighing me down. And then i realised i was under alot of rubble. Th first thing that escaped my mouth was "God i'm down here,  keep John safe.." and then i was trying to push out through it. Thank fully it wasn't much and i was coming out through it. Standing up, i looked around and in all the haze and rucous, there was this one man standing still. He was sweating alot and looked so scared. Considering the scene, i figured he was in shock from everything. But something gave me the hint it was more than that. He was fidgeting too much for someone in shock. I decided to walk over to him and help him run away from this mess. Walking over to him, i realised that my head was screaming at me and even in the midst of everything..i knew something was wrong..apart from the evedent. Something was not right. As i reached the man with the shivers, i saw him remove his shirt. He had a jacket on. AND IT WAS TICKING...

(on the other side of the feild)

Ten minutes had gone by and there was no sign of Shawn. and then i saw what i should have never had to see at my age. there was another EXPLOSION! I went rocketing back and fell down to the floor. My spine felt like some one had cut me in half with a sledge hammer and i can't even begin to explain the agony it was casuing me. Making me dizzy, unaware..... I was grade eight now. I was getting beaten up my Stevie and his passe`. They were kicking me like i was an onion ruck sack and i knew their blows were going to hurt for days. i lay writhering on the floor then..in a fetile postion trying to make it all go away and then some one else was screaming. Looking up i remember seeing Shawn as some kind of super hero because he was kicking the hell out of Stevie which made his passe` scurry off like little rodents.....now i was 16. Just a year before. I was playing volley ball on one side of the court and i remember shawn shooting some hoops making all the girls weak in the knees. They were watching him and he was enjoying it. I also distinclty remember stevie arriving with a significant increase to his once little gang. I remember standing back against the wall and watching the hoard upto him. His screams in agony still ring in my ears but what i remember most, is that i stood there and watched them torture him like that and did nothing. i was too scared for my own life too go save him. i was a coward then and i am a coward now...NO!.."i'm not a coward!" and suddenly there was newly found strength running through my veins.

I pushed myself off the floor and despite of the agonising pain in my leg and my back, i new the pain in my heart would be much more agonising if i din't look for Shawn now. my conscience wouldn't let me live it down. EVER. "SHAAAWWWNNNNN" i bellowed out loud, flinging rubble everwhere i went. My throat was burning now, from the screaming and just the pressure of the moment. the fact that sand had risin from the floor and was now everwhere wasn't helping me locate Shawn any easier.
"SHHHHAAAAAAAAWWWWWWNNNNNNNN!!!!!!!" i knew i wasn't going to get my voice back after this but i just had to. that little ray of hope that had risin in me a while back was dying slolwy and i wasn't liking the feeling. And then i saw something that i knew would change my life forever. In my heart i knew had a feeling Shawn was alive but this was waaayy too much to handle.

He was lying on the floor arms and legs wide apart and his body was coverd with blood and his head was twisted in this awkward position that all of us know our heads should not be in. My legs gave out and i fell to the floor and vomited. I don't know if it was the fact that i had just lost the only brother i could have ever had or the fact that i would now have to live with never being able to make it upto Shawn. Everything in my visionw as starting to go hazy again and this time i didn't want to pass out. I wanted to sit by shawn, hold his body in my arms and apologise for everything. I wanted to be there when his mother got his body and tell her how sorry i was for never being there for her son. Perhaps his mother hating me forever would be redemption enough. She'd know i tried..or to say the least i cared. I crawled over to shawn's body that lay so lifeless yet his face was so calm. Typical shawn. He was asleep in death. He was peaceful even in the after life. I gently lifted his head and layed it down in my lap.With shawn gone, i wasn't normal any more.

Wiped the blood from his forehead with my sleeve. Pushed his blood caked hair back. Stared at him.
"I'm sorry, brother. For all those times that i said i would stand by you and left you hangin'. I'm sorry for never being able to become half the person you ever were. I'm sorry i was never there when i should have been. You were always my support and i was never able to become anything for you..." i realised i was crying now, because i felt the warth trailing down my cheeks. I closed my eyes as i saw the tear fall onto Shawn's ethereial face.

"Quit droolin' on me!" came a little squeak from my lap. My eyes snapped opne and i looked down at Shawn. He was flashing me one of HIS smiles and i burst out screaming.
"Your okay!"
"Yea, i think your drool brought me back to life"
"Butt wipe!..you had me so scared..." i gently helped him up, he was devastatingly injured "But you were lying theer life less.." i was still in schock.
"Ever considered cheking my pulse?" he winked at me..jeez, i was soo stupid! "I saw the man who did it. He blew up with the bomb though. I was gona be with him now if it hadn't been for his legs geting stuck in some wooden peice near his legs. He was trying to mentain his balance and i ran for it. I guess i was till too close though" he answered me weakly.

I helped him walk away from all that carnage that day. It was something i would never forget but most of all i will never forget what Shawn said to me afterwards,
"You are my brother and no matter how many times you stood there and watched me get beaten up...i knew you were learning. I never expected anything from you. BESIDES," he said with a smirk now, "Even if you tried you couldn't be half the person i am!" and stuck his tongue out at me
"Buttwipe"
"Chicken"..........

The end

This post is dedicated to my sister who begged me not to kill shawn or John. Also the names of the characters are dedicated to John Cena and Shawn Micheals. The greatest wrestler of all times. Even though he has retired, he will allways be "MR. WRESTLEMANIA"

Tuesday, March 30, 2010

Not nearly enough time

We walked to the state fair together that day. I remember it like it was yesterday. I know i saw this little child, about two, asking to ride the horsie. He was so adorable. I remember Shawn teasing me if i was still scared to walk around or if i needed him to hold my hand and walk. He was being a real ass. But he was so funny even i couldn't help myself. And then everything went wrong.


Wake up. Reflect on yesterday. Conclusion? sucked like the day before and the day before that...Get out of bed. Stretch. Look in the mirror, flex my muscles.."ha!..lookin good, baby!" Kiss the two inch increase on my already two inched biceps. It was important to console my self about lookin good and hunky even though i'm stick thin. Grab my glasses, shove them on my nose. Scratch my butt and walk to the toilet. Take a leak and look in the mirror.."ahh utter perfection!" i know, i know. But your wrong. Its another self confidence booster. Clearly my shabby hair, tiny, green eyes behind my huge glasses were doing nothing for my looks. Classic nerd. Sigh! Brush my teeth. Get dressed. Go down stairs. Pass mum begging me to have breakfast. "MOOOOM! I'm 17! i can't go walking to school with a juice box in my hand!"
"Why? since when did 17 year olds stop having breakfast?"
"Grrr..mom since now!" always making me angry with the whole breakfast routine..EVERYDAY. she just wont give up.
"Johnn..please just one bite. Don't they tell you in school that breakfast is the most important meal of the day?..C'mon. just a bite."
"No! mom, save it" i slam the door and walk out. I know i hurt her, but she just won't stop pushing me. I feel bad. Go back inside. "Alright, gimme"watch her face bright up as she hands me the juice box and neatly wrapped sandwich. Go out again. walk till i reach the curb. The exact spot where she can't see me from the window. Throw it all in the bin. walk on. My conscience is killing me. It a weighs a ton on my heart. People in Ethopia are dying becuase they have no food and its my fault. Force the thoughts to the back of my head. Walk to school.

(15 minutes later)

Walk into the school yard. Feel all the stress drain out of me. I see Shawn and now i'm normal.

Clearly, it was obvious to everyone at school that me and Shaw were like brothers. and in reality, he really was the sibling i never had. I'm my parents' only child and Shawn does an awesome job at not making me realise it. We've been friends since grade school and as I walked upto him in the yard, the little flick of his head he did to get his hair out of his eyes, memories came rushing back. It was Grade 2 and Shawn and i were playing in the very same yard that i was walking across now. Shawn hasn't aged much since. Even at that young age he had the same blond hair falling in his eyes. He liked them that way, even though he couldn't see through them. I remember Stevie, the little bugger of the class walk up to us. I didn't seem to think much of it and casually got up and walked over to the slides. As i climbed up, i saw through the steps Stevie silently walking up to Shawn from behind. And then it was there. The big scissor in his hand that he had quite obviously stolen from Arts class. I felt my throat go dry as i saw Stevie walk up from behind with his little passe` who grabbed Shawn by the arms and pinned him down. They cut off his hair that day. Shawn's prized possession. Everything that made him stand out. What did i do through out it? I stood frozen on the steps and watched in horror. I couldn't move. Yes, i know that was no excuse for not sticking up for my "brother". I was a coward and in many ways still am. Its a trivial story, yet it still haunts me. I wasn't there for him. I was a bad person. I pushed the thought to the back of my head.

"Wasssuupp!!!" Shawn greeted with a huge high five followed by our ritual little hand shake. It was our very own.
"Nothing just the same old breakfast drama"
"It wouldn't kill you to eat it for once you know," he looked at me doing his little flick of the head again.
"Yea, it wouldn't but i'd have to walk with it to school and that ain't happenin!" i flased him my smile. Girls fell for that but Shawn was another story. He just gave me that look. One of those looks where you feel like the other person can look right through you. Did he know that i had stood and watched him as Stevie and the others had chopped of his beloved hair? Did he know that his friend had been around and didn't come for him? "Its not my fault!" i consoled my self in my head. I could still remember what it felt like to get beaten up by Stevie. perhaps that was what had kept me on the slide. From saving my brother.
"Forget it" giving me one of his usual, playful little shrugs "Let's go for class"

(After school)

As the kids ran past us towards buses and cars Shawn and i started walking home. "Wanna to go to the state fair today?" Shawn asked me between bites of apple pie. He was always eating and never gaining. So many similarities between us, yet we looked so different.
"Sure," i answered and started playing with the little rocks on the road. "BUT you heard 'bout that incident in the square the other day?"
"Yea...what you scared now?" he snikered at me through the apple pie, some falling out of his mouth.
"No!" i punched his arm
"Owe!" he rubbed it, yet he kept laughing at me.
"I dunno, i was just wondering...the state fair is quite close to the square you know..what if..." i REALLY wans't scared..just curious. You , yes you. Stop laughing at me!
(sniffs)"Do you smell that..(sniff).."
"what?"
"CHICKEN!!!!" and then he was doing the little chicked dance that i hated so much. But he looked so funny so i joined it. We were these two boys in the middle of the road flapping our arms....clucking..being a bunch of chikens...

We walked to the state fair together that day. I remember it like it was yesterday. I know i saw this little child, about two, asking to ride the horsie. He was so adorable. I remember Shawn tesing me if i was still scared to walk around or if i needed him to hold my hand and walk. He was being a real ass. But he was so funny even i couldn't help myself. And then everything went wrong.

I knew Shawn was right beside me checking out the pie eating contest on the side but i was too busy noticing this guy who looked so out of place at the state fair. He was nervous and sweating even though it was quite windy that day. His eyes met mine for a slpit second and i read his eyes. Something was wrong. I tried to reach out to Shawn to show him this man but i just grabbed at air. I turned to see Shawn not where i had left him.
"Shawnnn!!!" i called out. I'f i'd lost him now, it would take ages to find him."Shawwwnn!!"i called out. And then hell broke loose. 

I saw the tent on my right side EXPLODE into little pieces right before my eyes. I remember being lifted off my feet and being thrown away with the impact that followed the explosion. It went black then. It went dark...