Saturday, March 20, 2010

Inside the mind....2

She was six years old then, and now at 16 there was no way in hell she was going to spend another ten years of her life, trying to get over something just as horrifying. At this thought the strength in her hands and legs started to return. The fact that the man was so close to her now made her angry instead of being upset.

"Take control of your life, no one will be there to protect you for ever. I could try but i won't succeed, honey. You need to make your self stronger, not because your a girl, but because there will always be people who want to hurt you" her father's words rang in her ears. Scenes from old movies started playing in her head. Fighting tactics, self defense. She knew she had very little chance of getting away but if only she could distract him for a little bit, that would give her the lead she would require to run for it. She was running already and her legs were tired, but his face kept returning in her mind which made her run on. How was she supposed to do this?

Very conveniently, all traces of people had disappeared from the area and there was no one in sight who might have heard her terryfing scream. God was making this better by the second. The only difference between two minutes ago and now was that she was determined to make him pay,and make him pay BIG TIME!. There was no way, that she would allow a sleezy, scum bag to prey on innocent girls and then get away with it! Not while she was there, he wouldn't.

Looking ahead she saw that the path she was running on was perfectly turning into a dark alley way. She estimated and figured it could result in two ways. The first being that she could hide inside and wait for him to follow her in there thinking there was no way out and then attack! or the second being that she wouldn't get to do anything and would REALLY have no way out. She was going to take her chances. If not now then never. Might as well go down trying!

She ran straight for the alley way and literally jumped into the darkness. Quickly positioning herself beside the wall, she went quite. Out of breath from the running, she tried to drown the sounds of her heaving chest trying to drag in air. Evrything was dark, she couldn't see a thing, yet she could hear that his footsteps had slowed down to a walk and was contemplating to go in on not. "Don't, don't don't" she prayed and then in the darkness she heard another sound. He had entered. She blinked furiously to get her eyes accustomed to the darkness, and then she saw his outline.

He was standing there trying to look in the darkness. She knew she only had a minute before he could see clearly in the darkness and charge at her. Slowly creeping along the wall she positioned her self right beside him. and then her furiously beating heart kicked in the adrenaline. That peice of shit was gona pay!
"ABEY TERI MAA KI!!!" and she flung her bag, hitting him accuratelty on the head. A sickening metal sound greeted both of them. Clearly the metal lunch box in her bag had done its job and not having eaten lunch today might have added to the weight. She watched him stagger back in the darkness. Now with her veins pulsating with fury she swung her bag at him again and this time he was thrown down. He couldn't see what on earth was attacking him and being drunk wasn't helping him either!Kicking him one last time to leave an ever lasting impression for the rest of his life, and hearing his yelping, agonising pains as he crouched down with his hands between his legs, SHE RAN.

This was one of her 400 meters dashes now. The end point was to reach home. Flinging her bag over her shoulder's she ran. Dust blew up beside her momentarily blinding her but she was on full throttle now! No one could stop her....and then she saw her pretty violet builiding. Stepping into the coolness of the reception area, she slowed down..walking to the lift "You would not belive you eyes, if ten million fireflies...." and she felt those horryfing memories from when she was six, slip out of her head. She was going to be okay now. She was home...she was safe..

Thursday, March 18, 2010

Inside the mind....

"You would not believe your eyes, if ten million fireflies, lit up the world as i fell asleep...tum de dum de dum dum dum...", she sang as she climbed down the big steps of the bus. Like every thursday, her brother didn't come pick her up and she was left to come back home by bus. As usual, the driver dropped her off a few buildings away from her house so that he could take an easier route out of the area.

"Bye Saeed, uncle!" she yelled up to him as he waved back and closed the automatic door. "cause i get a thousand hugs, from ten thousand lightning bulbs, as they tried ot teach me how to dance..dum de dum de dum dum dum.." singing she started walking towards her builidng. towering over all the other ugly coloured ones, stood her pretty violet one, all grand and huge. The fact that the sun was at its highest now, wasn't helping her see much but obvioulsy she knew where her building was. She stopped in front of the road, waiting to cross it. That's when she spotted him. She realised that he must've been probably watching her the second she got off the bus.

They all always told her she was pretty, which caused her to get unwanted attention from others. She feared it was about to happen again. Sometimes you like it when people look at you. It's all in the eyes, i guess. But he, he was standing there in the bright sun, his skin so dark, almost shining with sweat rolling down his arms. Disgusted, she turned her headaway. Yet, his picture was inscribed in her mind now. His unkempt hair and shabby beard gave him the typical look of a construction worker who'd probably lost his way from the construction site. He was only across the road so she could see quite alot about this man. If it was a man that you can call him. His red eyes told her that either he was drunk or had been smoking a long time now and his flared nostrils reminded her of that charging bull she had once seen on that spanish chanel. And he was now staring right at her.

In the back of her mind she knew she didn't want to cross the road. Not now. Not until he was gone. He was causing a chill to run down her spine even in this scorching heat. She saw him flex his msucles, ready for his prey. She started to pray," God, you promised me you would protect me, didn't you? You said if i did everything right, you'd be there for me when i needed you. All these years that you and i have mentained this bond, keep it God, keep it. I need you now. Help me get home,God. I need you," the last words escaped her now parched lips in a hurried whisper. Dad always said "fight 'em." Mom said, "scream"..but her throat was dry. She rememberd when she had once hit her brother by mistake in the wrong place and the yelps that had escaped his pained mouth. Yes! that could work. Maybe she wouldn't have to do anyhthing. "Maybe i can just walk by him" she consoled her self in her head as she got ready to cross the road.

"a sock hop beneath my bed, a disco ball is just hanging by a thread.." she didn't sing along now. Only reduced the volume on her head phones and took big steps across the road. If not the man then the cars would surely kill her today. And then she was infront of him. Immediately she side stepped him and started walking those quick agile steps as fast as she could. Sweat now trickling down her face, she wiped it with the back of her hand and broke into a fast jog. And then there were footsteps.

They were matching hers. Fast, nimble at first then breaking into a job. She could hear the sliding of the slippers against the sandy floor. Who was it? Her mind screamed at her to run and not turn back!..but she had to know. Her heart was beating so fast it hurt. It was going to explode out of her chest!"one quick glance maybe?..what if it's not him?..what if i'm running for nothing?" and then she dared to look. One quick glance over her shoulder and he smiled back at her with his yellow toothed grin, eyes blazing red, the tobacco stains surrounding his lips and that unstandable stench of...alcohol?..But his grin killed her. Her heart stopped yet she let out a shrill scream that tore her epiglotis and ran. She had always been fast, but that wasn't helping. Not now it wasn't. the drunkard was catching up to her. She felt the tears stream down her cheeks as her mind brought back flashes from when she was just six years old "standing at the bus stop....two pigtails..all the other mother's gone..last one there...he came from the empty alley behind close..his smell...his face...his hand..." and she ran ,she ran so fast her feet hurt. And then she felt his breath on her neck....

Wednesday, March 17, 2010

Little things..

So i was makin the usual dinner at home the other day and its really my condition for working "if i'm cooking no one else enters the kicthen!"..yea..i get dsitracted and annoyed if someone talks to me or gives me suggestions on how i should do things. frankly if you want to criticize everything i do, go ahead and cook yourself! :P..well anyway so i was COOKING which is the point here and being alone i tend to think about RANDOM things (typical lazy18! and i noticed some thing. its the smallest things that are the most dangerous ones! i swear to god, you look around you and you'll see, its those tiny things that you can't see or fail to notice that just come right out of no where and give you a nice mouthful! me explain my self with a few examples. it'll probably show you what i mean alot better..:

THIS is what we call the CHILLI POWDER. Now if you notice it is finely powdered and there is no other form of chilli that will make you remember your dead grandmother as soon as a only a teaspoon full of this will!..:P. really look at it...its in tiny powder form, its red(pretty) and its just a harmful powder. how on earth could this be dangerous? i said..go ahead have some :)

THE all scaring-the-living-hell-out-of-you-type bacteria. This tiny insvisible to the naked eye creature can cause diseases that will take us YEARS to find cures to!look it at, with those good lookin neon colours. i told ya, small and deceptive those tiny things are. They can get into places you dont even want to fathom about and really make you regret stepping out of you so-called "protection" of your house cuz well..they get EVRYWHERE..there aint no running!

IN this case i mean the needles(cudnt find the appropriate picture!) oh you small little weapon oh you! not just syringe needles, but sewing needles, cactus needles, point pencil needles and what not. the cactus if pricks you on ur lil buttocks will really not let u sit for a VERY long time..the seweing needle if picked up from the wrong end can make you bleed..and the most dangerous one...clinical we all know what that causes..yes AIDS. so no sharing.oh and see how dangerous that little needle is?!(which reminds me, WORLD AIDS day is on my 1st december is world aids day..k..i agree to share it for a good cause ..but THAT'S IT!..its my day!)

Now think of it from a protective point of view. Look at this picture. anyone remember will smith from men in black?..well remember that gun? small it was?!..and al the havoc it caused? i rest my case...small is dangerous..thus i conclude...tall..err..long, big..what ever is good. but not at all tuned for "BIG THINGS SCARE ME"
-Just some random ramblings from a so-called, self proclaimed, still-happy about-it..crazy person :P

Monday, March 15, 2010

Dreaded moments.....

Was it really so hot or was she hyper ventilating? Gosh, she could feel the sweat trickling down her back. Wiping her hands against her jeans, she takes a deep breath. "pheew!"...calm down..its going to be okay. she tries to cunsole her mind and her heart at the same time. However, the only thing that did seem to happen was the EXACT opposite!..Her breathing was geting harder and she was now seeing stars in front of her eyes. Little, pretty, yellow ones......"Damn it!"..shakes her self back to reality. "what on earth am i so nervous about?!"

hehe..yea that was just some MORE random rambling. BUT i am nervous. My driving exam is coming up soon. well it still is the first try. and for those of you who are not aware of this, you have to give two exams after passing you parking to actually get your liscence.(well atleast in sharjah!) any way, the point is that i'm sooooo nervous and it dosnt help that i have the constant ringing of my brothers voice in my head "ur so skinny, your not even going ot be able to hold the steering wheel on the round about!"..well what if i am:?!..what the hell am i going to do then?!..okay so it hasn't hapend in any of my lessons on the road  but STILL!!.who knows? also my stupid hands sweat so much the steering whell will probably slip and RANDOM lane changing shall occur.(well atleast it will be like me...random!:p).

Any way according to my ALL-KNOWING brother i wont even get my own car(well not aleast he gets a new one and then i get to "play" on his old one)

But the car i want is this lil baby................... This my friends is a BMW m6..yup..aint she a beauty? Black, convertible...gorgeous
K..back from my dreams(i actually heard my brother and sister snickering at my DREAMS right there) so to avoid any more humiliation..i shal not tell you about the CUSTOM job i'm going to do in there. lol..leave it for my dreams :p. any way..before any of that i'll try and pass so why don't you guys go ahead and pray for me pweez?..My exam is actually pretty soon...sooner than you expect but i'm not going to tell you when cuz incase i flunk the last thing i want is public embaressment on the INTERNET! ill try and do well...unless my hands slip...