Friday, January 29, 2010

passing away.....

Isn't it such a sad event when some one dear to you passes away? okay let alone dear, but a human being in fact passes away. Every day we read , so and such a number of people passed away in some place. Even that to a certain extent effect our minds. they were a part of us wern't they?..of our human race..people of our kind. The people that make the population of our planet earth.

it truley is sad. This abrupt reason for such a sad topic today is due to the passing of a dear some one and i hope that we can all send our belessing uo to him. This is in loving memory of a dear father, son and brother. I did not know this man as well.infact only knew him by name but its tsill did strike me. I felt sorry and sad for the people who lost him and probably i am sure miss him. For the loving son who lost a father, may God give him strength and hope to carry on. I did not know the son either but for the people, this is from them.

A dedication in loving memory of a kind soul.

Thursday, January 28, 2010

joy of writing?

yea i guess that's what you could call it. is it a joy that i get when i write?...or is joy the right word to explain that emotion? i'm not sure joy does so much justice to the feeling that i go through. its slightly more than that. maybe even close to utter bliss?...lol..nope its not exaggeration. i may be studying to be a pharmacist but literature is where my heart is. and not any ordinary kind. i lovethe king of the kings, William Shakespear Lord Byron , Keats. al of them. they did leave treasures on earth. this might be an over statement for some people but the art and the talent that these men had was and will always be price-less. you cannot put a price tag on their intellect. of course litelly if you buy their books they Do have price tags on them..lol..cheesy i know.

But that truth is that no matter how much you claim that i don't like reading or i gave up on reading ages ago..is a load of bs. i refuse to belive. Your reading something everyday and its adding to your knowledge. every word you read changes your perspective on how you look at soemthing. you will notice it yourself mark me words..you will. if you read just the head line of an article you know that soemthing new or old, remains in the world and now you are a part of it becuase you read about it. its a circle or to say a family that you becoem a part of. these books and magazines and news papers that you read...all your family without you even realising it. and just as you respect you elders or atleast your relatives, just the same way your books and knowledge disserve the same respect. its a part of life. beause you give respect to gain respect. you acknowledge your books, their presence and their knowledge that their are sharing with you...take my word for it...it wil take you higher than you could have imagined.

i may sound liek a professor today but this is straight form my head. the words straight from my thoughts..how i think them i write them. its the way it is. respect is required. period. for books and everything in life. you will get the same back. i learnt this from a great person. i hope i can make you feel the same

Wednesday, January 27, 2010

fun fun fun

Its a very proud feeling when you know about the heritage you come form. well mostly proud. Some people might feel othrwise because there are some of us out there that don't really appreciate where we come from. Of course clearly i am not like that. lol. I obviously do appreciate my ancestory even though there might be some people that dont clearly strike my fancy. but hey, you can't help who you're related too.

Its all about life really. God's being plays a big part in that...placing you in who so evers house you are going to be born in. The ultimate, underlying reason. Ofcourse only lord knows what that it. I am rambling today, i don't know why. Maybe becuase i am sort of giddy. Why you ask? i really don't know. Although the heritage part did get me thinking because of a couple of uncles visiting me now. I Didn't mean the proud part becuase i am proud to have them...well kinda...umm..sorta?!..agh!..i dunno. lol..would ya look at that?..i just frustrated my self. i have just reached a new low. lol.

waiting for my road classes to start. my New instructor is supposed to call me. i left the old one. crazy lady..she had HUGE issues with angles...lol.."set an angle for your side parking".."set an angle for the reverse" when i did set them..."y you keep setting this angle?!" God, lady decide!...theres a limit to which she can keep spinning me. lol..besides i think she taught me some stuff worng. Don't get me wrong. i AM gratefful she taught me and i passed..but was it worth it missing some stuff? ah well..what's gone is gone...bored today..mornings are fun though...learning new things..planing to read a new book....that is if i can find it.."Age of the spsiritual Machines" by Ray Kurzwiel...if any of y'all locate one..lemme know...dieng to read it...thanku...lol

 so stay away y'all!..peace!

Tuesday, January 26, 2010

fear...

isn't fear such an over whelming feeling? it just takes over you. creeps into your soul and mind (even your sweat glands) and just numbs everything down. stops all your senses and just feels like everything is being taken over. fear..i mean look at the word it self. it has such a powerful aura around it. Just the word itself tells you that something is wrong....or its soemthing that you don't want. something that you want to stay so far away from. it feels, sounds and looks wrong- fear i mean. isn't it?

Dosn't it make you want to run away from th source that's exuding this reaction out of you? don't you want to escape from the thing that has paralysed all ur senses..enough to choke you? enough to not be able to sream? because we know that the scream will let out the fear and let you have all your senses back.

i don't know why i write this today..about fear i mean. but i remember waking up and being scared. drowning in fear..and i was paralysed. i was home alone and paralysed. of course it faded away after a little while but i still remember the distinct feeling, and it felt all wrong. it wasn't write and i nor no one else wants to feel like that. don't they?..no one wants to live in fear of something or anything. its not right. being able to get away from the fear or infact over-powering fear itself is the way it should be. but how do you over-power fear? scream?..it dosn't work..fear paralyses u and your senses?...taking over fear in your mind itself?..yess that could work. but how?..thinking...fear might have the power to over take your mind but not your thoughts...no one no nothing has the power over you thoughts...do they? you think of whats right and what kind of a person you are. are you someone who will be drowned in fear?...or swim in it and float...get OVER it...literally. your thoughts....thats what saves you from this blob of fear. the strength in your thoughts, the strenght of character....helps you get out.

no lols today..still upset?....no..afraid?...no....stunned i guess. yes, i guess im still stunned. thats all there is to it. your thoughts.

Sunday, January 24, 2010

yepii dedoda yipee de day!!!..my oh my what a wonderful day!!!..lol..or sumthin like that

oh yea oh yea oh yea!!!. do the wheelie , do the robot. break into a disco routine.. clap my  hands and roll all over the floor....jump on the sofa's screaming out loud. stand in the balcony and declare it to the world....ahhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! lol

yup this is me celebrating..lol...yes urs truley has passed her parking exam..hehe...moms wise words as i celebrate "shes doing all this just becuase she passed parking....lord save us when she gets her license"

lol...yes it was a good day. woke up at six o'clock, prayed and got ready. shook out the shivers...calmed my self down "lets not be nervous today". walked out of the house...CONFIDENCE seering from every inch of my body. two meters from the test hall....sweating like a pig. seconds away from hyperventilating, mom trying her best to calm me down...all i do is snap at her and tell her to leave me alone. okay, okay...i can do it. walk into the theory hall take my seat. mr.oldy police officer resembling an old hitler sat at the head of the room. dammit, my luck....i had to get oldy for my theory. he'll fail me for nothing. took my sheet from me.."you study only 4 classes for parking?" shock trailing in his voice.
"umm..yes. my instructor said i was ready" confusion trailing in MY voice.
"sit" ...in my head.."stupid mean oldy...." hands me my exam sheet. i break a sweat again. if i keep sweating like this i won't be able to sit next to the police officer in the car...he'll faint!..that is IF i pass my theory...STUPID girl concentrate on the paper. okay, okay....hmmm..."do you over take on the dotted lines or on the straight long line?"...think fast...write down....scribble some more. after 7 minutes i get up and hand old meany my paper. "take seat" he barks an order at me.

he calls some girl who gave her sheet before me and asks her a bunch of oral questions. omg..what?! oral?...dammit, these people are looking at all my weak points. arey yaar chillllll!...i tell my self...you can do it...smile at oldy...lol...barks my name agian....Lord help me...its my turn.
"what this" he points at a picture
"it means danger and slow down because there is a drawbridge ahead"
"okay!" another bark....mean oldy be nice! asks me 4 more...got 'em all right.
"okay pass!..yallah go!" this time he was less barky..hands me my paper ....omg..was that a smile?!..hehe..cracked mean oldy....lol..my charm...

walk over to the police man give him my paper.."Yalla go sit in the car..i vill come"
Walk confidently to the car..tell my self "this is your game baby!"..hehe...seat belt-check, mirrors-check, gear- check, handbreak-check.
"yalla side parking then right" this car is my baby. slow and smooth. check the mirror. estimate. okay..i guess its right. reverse. park. get out and go right. a couple of more parkings. this baby sails like a bird.
"Good yalla pass. take your green card from there and go road?okay?"
"yaaaaayyyyyy!!!!!! yes yes yes" too busy celebrating to reply. mom comes grabs me and takes me to get my card. lol...still happy but tired. i finished all this by 11 o'clock. yea long day..tired so wanna sleep. yes, i knew i could do it too. (yawn!) sleep tite y'all....oh wait...its still afternoon...well screw that i'm gonna sleep. bubye.